This is a follow up to my naked yoga post about what I did recently to get me out of a longterm covert depression…
I woke up a few months ago, and I said to myself, “Roger, enough of this shit. You have to get out of this dark hole. You've been in it too long.”
After moving to Portland I went through a pretty gnarly break-up that drained me. I felt lonely, disconnected and shut-down. Over time, I moved beyond the relationship, but the dark cloth of depression didn’t lift. I found myself exercising and practicing yoga less and less with an increase of drinking and eating foods that lacked vitality.
My attempts at friendships and relationships suffered. I found myself blaming the world and shaming myself for not being able to snap out of it. On top of that, I felt even more shame because I am a yoga instructor. Im supposed to be living all the principles that I teach. Im supposed to be inspired.
I knew I needed help, and it was clear that I needed to move my body if I were to get unstuck. Going to yoga classes wasn’t going to work because being a teacher made it complicated for me, and because of the depression I couldn’t find the motivation to do it on my own. So, I hired a personal trainer who came highly recommended— Marco Sanchez who owns and runs MyPDXFit.
We met and I immediately knew that he was the one for me. He was friendly, confident, and extremely knowledgeable. He asked me what I wanted out of the training. I told him that I had felt stuck for quite a while and that I needed to move my body in a vigorous way, and that I wanted to develop more upper body and core strength.
I signed up for 12 weeks of training with him— 3 days a week. I didn't tell very many people because this was personal and it was just for me. Marco had me doing all kinds of crazy fun and challenging things. My favorite is swinging the sledgehammer. He also requested that I do the Whole 30 eating program, which I did for 45 days.
July 4th was the end of my 12 weeks. Even though my goal wasn’t so much weight loss I ended up losing 15 lbs and dropping almost 8% body fat. When I started I couldn’t even do 1 pull-up. I can now do 4 in good form. All that stuck, depressed energy is gone. I feel energized, inspired and confident in a way that I haven’t experienced in a long time.
Through all of it, Marco has been encouraging, supportive and patient with me while also holding me accountable to my intentions.